When my little brother was born I remember being SO proud! I was very over protective of him as a child. If he cried, I cried. One Saturday when we must have been 6, 10 and 14 my Dad flipped his lid about a mess which had been left in the kitchen. We were all summoned and told that the culprit had to confess and Dad, as an afterthought, said that if it was Greg he wasn't allowed to go to his football game in the afternoon. Knowing full well it hadn't been me I instantly confessed, knowing how upset Greg would be to miss his game. I was duly punished and shouted at. When in due course the whole thing came out Dad didn't know whether to be angry or impressed! I was in my 20s before I recognised that the tables had completely turned and I was the one subject to my brother's protectiveness. It was a long story involving a bad boyfriend and my brother's (very uncharacteristic) willingness to flatten him. His adolescent quiet nature hid a razor sharp wit which now flourishes and which has, on more occasions than I can remember, during times of crisis brought me back from the edge of tears, into laughter. His very special relationship with Mojo touches my heart regularly and watching the two of them play together makes me so happy.
I have watched my sister's young children learning with each other, growing together and loving each other. Knowing that Mojo requires so much of our time and resources the option of expanding our family has been one I've long lamented over. I've read all the leaflets from Sibs (the wonderful organisation which supports the siblings of children with additional needs) they talk about how difficult life can be for these siblings and how easy it is for them to feel under valued and under pressure. It talks about the huge responsibilities which present themselves far earlier in life than they do for those of us with conventional sibling relationships. Would we be selfish to have more children knowing how much care Mojo requires? How would I cope with pregnancy when our daily life is so physically demanding? All of this is before we even take into consideration the possibility of a repeat HPE diagnosis. Would we be able to cope with two children with complex needs? Alternatively could we cope with the emotional wringer of genetic testing and more meetings to dictate to us whether or not it would be sensible to expand our family? Probably not.
Then there's that thing again. That thing which refused to abandon me during my pregnancy with Mojo. Call it faith, instinct, call it gut feeling, call it lunacy but its the thing that allows us to believe in lost causes, to hope for the impossible and to disregard all sensible logic in favour of hope, optimism and (far more cheesily) true love conquering all.
So, with careless disregard to genetic testing, total brushing over of day to day logistics, casual discounting of pessimism but a wholehearted assuredness that there isn't a family in the world who could love a baby, a baby with any level of needs, as much as we could, we await the arrival of Mojo's baby sister. Our hearts are full to bursting with an enthusiasm to replicate the fun, laughter, love and adventures which prevailed in our own childhoods.
So say hi to baby..... anyone got a couple of months free early September for a bit of childcare??
|*waves at world*|