Sometimes 2nd August 2011 feels like yesterday sometimes it feels like a million years ago. Either way the memories and emotions it evokes are the same. Staring at the grain of the wood of the table on which I laid my head after putting the phone down. Before the immediate shock wore off, before the crying began, before, really, the magnitude of the conversation had hit, before I'd even called Bill just those few seconds of blank shock. Those few life-changing seconds of comprehension. That's mostly what I remember.
Today however is not about that. Or at least it's not about rehashing and reliving that. Today it's about recognising how far we have come. It is remarkably easy to forget, to become focussed on the problems of daily life and the barriers Mojo faces. Reminding myself of what we (like all of the friends we have since met who experienced the same diagnosis meeting) were told about our unborn baby, brings into very sharp focus quite how truly completely and spectacularly awesome our little girl is.
So in the spirit of a picture saying a thousand words (believe me I could!) here is my nod to this year's diagnosis anniversary using the words of the consultant in that first diagnosis meeting.
"It is very unlikely that your baby will survive to term"
|Beginning to believe baby has not received memo!|
"If it does it will have little or no quality of life"
|Hanging with my daddy. Quality.|
"It is unlikely your baby would be able to perform basic functions such as breathing and swallowing"
|Breathing while I swallow this enormous ice cream|
|....and this pasty!|
"The front of the brain is where we store our personality and your baby's fore brain is completely fused seriously damaging all the faculties we store there"
|When I grow up I want to be a princess.....|
|...OR a ukulele playing Buzzy Bee?|
"Any kind of normal life cannot be expected"
|Is it normal to beat mummy at bowling?|
|or play with my farm?|
|or wave on the waves?|
and finally, as I have to say I really did like our consultant and he wasn't being intentionally completely wrong....
"Of course there are sometimes miracles..."
Thankfully for us the only element of the whole meeting which turned out to be accurate was the bit about miracles. Our amazing girl. Our miracle.