Then the fog lifts albeit temporarily, and she sleeps a night. You will usually find a flurry of Instagram photos and Facebook updates on those days as I suddenly feel like I could take over the world. All of this emotion and introspection is completely self-indulgent because when Mojo wakes up on a good day you don't see her lamenting the pain and sadness of the weeks she was ill, you just see the smile. For me to use the word infectious in a positive context is a bit rich but there is no other word for it. Her, 'what a lovely day I'm having' smile could light up even my most self-pitying mood. What's more she is instantly ready to get back to work. None of the maybe I'll just take it easy for a bit mentality for this girl, nope, crack on, back to school please I've friends to see, people to smile with, things to learn.
The day after Mojo's return to school we had a meeting which was scheduled as a six week catch up. The school had been assessing, observing and monitoring Mojo for her first half-term to create a base line. A base line from which to create her targets and build on all her skills. A base line is where we start from. I don't know what I was expecting but it wasn't this. This blew my mind. I think it's because it is a written, formal document. It's a concrete assessment held in my hand that has been created entirely without my involvement, this is what the professionals see, feel and understand about Mojo. I know the root of my obsession with written proof, THE letter, the diagnosis pre-natal letter that I carried around with me like the flippin 'one ring' for months and months. I told myself so many times that it must be true because it's in writing on a formal letter, with a header and everything. Even now every time I get something in writing that contradicts 'no quality of life' I feel safer, I feel like Mojo is safer. Madness I know, and yet...
The assessment is broken down into four key areas. Personal, Social, Emotional Development, Cognition, Communication and Physical Development. For each of those areas there are nine bullet points. Each bullet point list a different ability, a skill, an achievement. That is a list of 36 things that Mojo can do. Things she can do that are worthy of bullet point status.
Each page features pictures of her doing these things.
I am resisting the urge to list each and every one of the 36 things here.
But indulge me while I list my favourites...
- A delightful and sociable girl who likes to be busy.
- Shows concern when someone is unhappy
- Understands imaginative play and likes to feed dollies
- Uses a range of signs - some of these are her own
- Can hold a writing implement and scribble attentively
- Can sit cross legged for short periods when supervised
- Can shake, squeeze and push objects
- Can weight bear when standing with support
- Works very hard
In the big scale of things these achievements for most parents would go unnoticed. Sitting. Drawing. Standing. Holding a toy. For Mojo these are monumental achievements reached through sheer determination, bloody minded stubbornness and unrelenting hard work.
P.S Anyone remember